called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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