Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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