There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
