I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
