Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I want a musical about memes.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize