shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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