capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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