He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
