dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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