@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
