I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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