when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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