Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
