you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
