Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
