for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize