I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
