just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dicks are not precious.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
