a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
