Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize