i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
