Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
