I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
