So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
