So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
