I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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