so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
