yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
