She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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