I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
