i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
