Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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