So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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