p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
