Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
