I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
