Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
sex in a hospital.. check
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize