he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she looked like the before picture.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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