my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
