too bad you live with your parents still
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
