is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
