she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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