any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
