Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
