The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
