i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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