therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
