Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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