someone owes me an orgasm
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
