omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
