how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
