If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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