Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
