Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
