His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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