is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
