I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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