Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
