He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
