I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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