i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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