Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
